Archive for June, 2010
June 23, 2010 4 Comments

A letter from my Kindle to my iPad

Dear Ms. iPad,

You trollop!  You tramp!  You gold digger!

You shallow hussy!

I had the promise of a real, meaningful, and lasting relationship and you tore it away from me.  You are a cold, merciless, unrepentant whore.  I hate you.

The JuiceBar was mine!  He loved me.  He adored me.  He couldn’t keep his hands off me.  He would cradle me like a baby and snuggle up close to me everywhere from the bedroom to the board room (Yes!  He had me in his office!).  He even bought me svelte, belting leather clothes that accentuated my lines and kept me warm on those long flights and lonely nights.

The JuiceBar used to show me off.  I remember how he almost cried when he thought that a forgetful moment almost lost our relationship.  Now I’m the one doing the crying.

I sit here and watch his eyes light up when you light up.  You and your edge to edge touch screen.  Your backlit glow.  I see his hands reach out for you and softly caress that cold, cold metal back of yours.

Then there’s the worst.  There’s that constant stroking.  Watching his fingertips continually stoke and tap and stroke and tap and stroke and tap.  His fingers never stop.  He has his hands all over you all the time … even in public!  It makes me want to vomit.

I am what he really needs.  With me we read, we learn, we think.  We enjoy the simple things.  Yes it may be spartan to you but it is what true love and true living is all about.

But with you it is all just fun and games.  And with those disgusting hyperlinks you let him explore sights and places that are wasteful, wonton, some even trashy.  No, for you it is all fun and games, excitement and finding the next thing that will make him go “ooooh.”  You are nothing but the ephemeral fleeting pleasure of the moment.

I hope he drops you and that glassy painted face of yours breaks into a thousand pieces.  Better yet, I hope some future strumpette steals his heart and makes you hurt as much as you hurt me.

You’ll get yours.  I promise.

Jerry’s Kindle
June 10, 2010 No comments

A Presidential Tweet

If a picture can say a thousand words?  But can a poster replace the history of the presidency?

I’m looking at a pencil that has all the pictures of the presidents on it.  I think I bought it at one of the Smithsonian museums.

There’s a whole slew of these guys.  They look eerily the same.  Neatly arranged rows of old white men (I bought the pencil before Obama).   Some were heros.  Others were rascals.  But they look so similar.   I think they all came from the same gene pool.

I’ve got a slew of books at home by and about the presidents.  I’ve even read some of them.

People dedicate their lives to studying the presidents, analyzing them, writing about them.  They are the cornerstones of any history text book.  They are the measuring and reference points for much of our own personal history.

And now it has all been boiled down into one convenient 38×24 infographic poster.  Yours framed for $320.

This is such a relief.

I was afraid I was going to have to read Doris Goodwin’s Lincoln.  Or Jim Burns’ Washington.  Or Gary Wills’ Madison (actually since I saw the HBO show the chance that I would actually read the Madison book was pretty slim).

I did read Primary Colors but that wasn’t supposed to be real.

But back to the poster.  I’m in awe.  The entire history of the presidency …  and entire history of electoral decision-making … all small enough to be framed.  I don’t have to read it, just look at it.  I don’t have to put it in a library, I can hang it on a wall.

A graphical equivalent of an historical tweet of the American presidency.

I love this country.
June 2, 2010 No comments

It is about time

40 years.

That was what impressed me.

After 40 years of marriage people separate.  Wow.  That is a long time to be together only to ‘grow apart’.

I’m not judging.  I’m just observing.

Time can heal.  But clearly time can also divide.  Time can make things better and draw people closer.  And time can erode, dull, and deaden your senses and your passion.

I think about the people I know and the clients that I work with.  I think about what time is doing to them.

For some, it is building them up, making them stronger.  It is a fuel that revs their engines so every new day they stand taller, get bigger, grow wiser.

For others, time is a millstone around the neck.  It is a grinding clock and snapping whip that turns what was or could have been extraordinary into a sedentary, mechanical, and passionless existence.

Those, of course, are the extremes.  Most – whether it is people, or companies, or organizations, or brands – fall somewhere in the middle.

Time is like a lot of things.  I figure it falls into one of those “great slaves” and “terrible masters” categories.

We should all take some time to think about what time is doing to us.