I was going to write about swine flu schizophrenia.  But I’m here at D15 at Dulles and have to plead with everyone out there with a cell phone and an ear piece having long and loud conversations with no one in particular while in a crowded public place.

SHUT UP!

And if you find a tall guy with a blue blazer, Landsdowne baseball cap, rumpled dark paints who at some point today will be in San Antonio, do everyone a favor and rip the earpiece out of his ear, grab his BlackBerry and throw it in the nearest toilet.

Flush twice.

This morning at 7:30 am I’m going through security at Dulles.  Not the new underground security but the one by baggage claim for “executive” travelers.  I’m just handing my boarding pass to the TSA officer (who was pleasantly pleasant) and all the sudden I HEAR THIS GUY RAMBLING ABOUT HIS MEETING SCHEDULE.  I turn and look.  There’s a tall guy behind me — I never got his name — staring off into space and talking as if the person on the other end of the phone is on the other side of security … and as if neither I nor anyone else in line is there.  I roll my eyes.  But this guy hasn’t a clue.  He goes on, and on, and on.

He doesn’t even hang up going through security!  Apparently you can put a person hon hold, run your cell phone through the security screen, and still have the other person on the line when you pick up the phone on the other end.  This is just wrong.

I’m hoping I can lose this guy, but I can’t.  I’m on the people mover to Concourse D.  Pleasant silence.  Then I BEGIN TO HEAR HIM AGAIN.  I learn about his meetings.  That he’s going to RTP next week.  Washington DC the week after.  The meetings with Steve Hackett.  That Nan will set it up.  That Dave and Matt are good guys.  Micheal is a jerk.  BUT I HEAR ABOUT ALL THIS LIKE THIS.   I’M IN A PEOPLE MOVER.  I CAN’T GET OUT.

The people mover docks and I’m hoping I can lose this guy but I need some java.  There’s a Starbucks on the immediate left of the landing.  Silence.  Blessed silence.  NOW HE’S BACK.   ANOTHER CALL.  PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!

What a way to start a day.

So again, if you have the urge to talk on the phone in crowded, public places PLEASE do everyone a favor.

Don’t.