Archive for November, 2011

Ode to obedience

Obedience gets a bad rap.  We denigrate the ‘obedient’ one as someone lacking in spunk, spark, creativity and leadership.  Think about it.  If someone said, “oh, so-and-so, he’s sooo obedient!”  What would you think?  Something between ‘eew!’ and ‘yuck’!

We idolize the  rebel.  We create myths about the  independent souls who reject instruction, laugh at admonition, and defy convention.  And we mistakenly think that doing so is the required path to creativity, individual expression and happiness.

Rebel = cool, interesting, daring, creative, great!

Obedient = boring, dull, predictable, sucks!

This is an ode to obedience and a ‘watchout’ to the rebel.

When I look at what’s happening today I’d suggest that our problem isn’t a scarcity of rebels.  Everyone is a rebel.  We all have a social media platform and we’re all ‘mad as hell and not going to take it anymore!’

But if everyone’s a rebel, you can’t have a rebellion.  Just like the world of Lake Wobegon where everyone is above average, creating a culture where everyone is leading (or thinks they are) and no one is following (or is capable of doing so) can’t a movement make.

By venerating the rebel we risk eviscerating the heart and soul of what makes every society, organization, and business strong — the dutiful footsoldier who is dependable, reliable, trustworthy and … yes … predictable.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting we promote lemming-like, do-what-you-are-told without question society.  But lowly obedience – simply doing what others ask of you – is a dying art.

Consider the teacher.  When I teach all I really want of the person at the other end is to do what I ask them to.  Read the book.  Complete the drill.  Learn the lesson.  Great that you ask questions and all that.  But at the end of the day if everything is up for grabs, nothing get grasped.

Consider the parent.  OK.  You know that your children at some point will need to rebel.  You know that they need to chart their own way.  And you know that they will be stupid.  Why?  Because you were young and stupid once too.  There was a time that whatever Mom or Dad said, you did the opposite.  And now you’re a parent.  And you  plead with your children “Please!  Just do this … Just this once … Trust me … I know what will happen if you don’t … Just trust me on this one.”  But no … you’re fighting a losing battle

Why do we denigrate the obedient and venerate the rebel?

Here’s a couple of possibilities:

1. The great thing about being a rebel is that you don’t have to be ‘for’ anything.  The rebel knows only one thing – what I am against.  That is why I’m a rebel!  Down with this!  Down with that!  “Tear down this wall!”  What replaces all this?  Beats the hell out of me!  I’m just a rebel.  I tear things down.  I’m not responsible for building things back up.

Which leads me to my second point …

2.  Obedience requires commitment and perseverance – not really popular things these days.  We don’t like difficult.  Difficult is, well, difficult!  The great thing about being a rebel and being against something is that no one holds you much accountable on what you are for.  The problem with obedience is that it, by definition, means you have to be ‘for’ something and willing to both ‘follow’ that something as well as defend that something.  Following is not cool.  Defending is hard work.  Obedience is difficult.  Difficult is not fun.

So what does any of this say anything about business and brands?  I’d suggest that some of the great brands we often consider ‘rebels’ are not rebels at all.  They are brands that are obedient to their values and instill obedience in their supporters.  Virgin, Apple, Zappos, Trader Joe’s, Facebook.  These are not ‘anything goes’ type places.  No, they aren’t rebel at all.  They just have a point of view and are slavishly obedient to it.  They are brands of followers.  They are brands supported by people who do as they are told, in the way they are told to do it.  They are obedient.

So here’s to obedience.  It is neither boring nor dull.  Rather it requires conviction and discipline … Which is why obedience can be very unpopular.

Gratitude and the Spirit of Thanksgiving

When I was a boy growing up there was a hymn that I learned in church.  The song was about counting blessings.  There was a simplicity in both the melody and the words and the refrain went like this:

“Count your many blessings name them one by one.
Count your many blessings see what God has done.
Count your blessings.  Name them one by one.
Count your many blessing see what God has done.”

The beat slowed when you sang the part “name … them … one … by … one” as if to emphasize that the exercise of naming and listing was as important as the list itself.

This to me this – naming blessings one by one – is the lost concept of gratitude.

It goes beyond the art of being thankful in a general way.  Everyone can do that.  Thankfulness has become more of a courtesy than a sincere expression of appreciation.

Thanks!  Thanks alot!  Thank y0u!  Thank you soooo much!

Yeah, whatever.

Today is Thanksgiving Day.  We focus on what we’re thankful for.  So I started counting those things I am thankful for.  I started counting my blessings.  Whoa!  It was a long list.  And as I turned the page on the list I sensed that I hadn’t even scratch the surface.  There was so much to be thankful for … so many blessings.  The list got so long I got tired.  So I watched football (which was also on my list!).

This is a great exercise. I encourage you to try it.  Really.  Get a piece of paper and pencil and start making a list.  If you get stuck, get up and walk around.  Look.   Go online.  Check email.  Check Facebook.  Talk to a friend or neighbor.  Be creative.

Try thinking of blessings that you have (and take for granted) every day.  Go from the most esoteric to the mundane.

Sound boring?  What if I told you that doing this will actually make you healthier and have better sex?  Do I have your attention now?  Well according to a report in the New York Times:

 

Cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” has been linked to better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, higher long-term satisfaction with life and kinder behavior toward others, including romantic partners.

 

So count your blessings.  Name them one by one.  There’s so much there.  We just don’t take time to see it.

Be healthy.  Be kind.  Be romantic.

Be grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving.