For those of us who travel a lot, one of the many headaches is traveling with liquids.  Specifically, not being able to take your water bottle with you.

Water.

Very, very dangerous stuff.

In the TSA handbook it is potentially lethal.  And we’re not talking drowning.  Who knows what that colorless liquid could be?  A potential molotov cocktail.  Battery acid.  Ammonia, chlorine and other colorless liquid material that when shaken (not stirred) will blow the cabin to smithereens.

The result?  Each time you go through the TSA lines you pass mountains of perfectly good (and expensive) Aquafina, Dasani, and, Fiji … yes … Fiji … the water that traveled thousands of miles to reach a store shelf only to be jettisoned out of fear that it could explode in transit like some South Pacific volcano.

Well, the Chinese have the simplest and best answer to this nettlesome security problem.

You can only bring it if I see you drink it.

According to wire service reports, as part of security in Bejing, “commuters are being asked to take a swig from water bottles on the subway to ensure they do not contain suspicious substances.”

It’s the “take a swig” test.

You want to bring it?  Then let me see you drink it.

If you don’t choke, vomit, blow smoke, writhe in pain, or otherwise groan and complain like the fat guy in the Batman film Dark Knight … well then you get a free pass.

As the folks at Guiness would say … BRILLIANT!

[NOTE:  The Chinese also ban anyone from coming  to the Olympics who has “mental illness” or a “a sexually transmitted disease.”  There will be no streaking (a sign of mental illness) or waving of insulting signs (no worry … football is not an Olympic sport).]

I think China’s on to something.  They don’t let you get on a domestic plane with a lighter (we do) but you can go on board with a liquid as long as you are willing (and able) to drink it.

The TSA allows lighters, but not water.

That is, they make it easy for you to start a fire, but not to put one out.